"when is that headache going to go away?"

Yeah, that's the question we have too... although this one was asked a bit less softly by a teacher who, whether he intended to or not, made L feel a bit like a malingerer and a lot like a burden.

And no, she didn't not finish her rough draft of her paper because she "didn't feel like it" when she got home from school, but thanks for asking.

I understand that what Lexi is dealing with is difficult for people to grasp.  Perhaps some people think she should just be able to suck it up and push through.

So let me try and put it in terms everyone can understand:

Try living without using your brain.

If you hurt your ankle, you can use crutches.  You can stay off of it.  You can use a wheel chair.  You can still get around without using that ankle.  It might be awkward, but it's doable.

Try reading without using your eyes or brain.

If you hurt your shoulder, you can use your other arm and put that arm in a sling.  It might be awkward because it might be your dominant arm, but you can still function.

Try memorizing information without using your eyes or brain.

Now, tear a hamstring.  Rest it for a few days.  Is it better yet?  Why aren't you out running on it? Why aren't you pushing through it?  When is that hamstring going to feel better?!

I've realized that, maybe thanks to our sound bite, story-of-the-minute filled world, many people have no staying power.  They are all energized and involved initially, but as the buzz wears off and the drudge settles in, they lose patience and interest and move on to the next "cause" or energizing topic.  If someone has a situation that can't be resolved in a few days or, if you're lucky, weeks, people move on.  Well, everyone except the person living the issue.

On many levels I can understand.  Time passes for you and you've moved on, so it is hard to understand that, for some people, time doesn't move on so easily.  For anyone dealing with a chronic illness, or even a chronic divorce (lol), or any sort of "not easily resolved" situation, the pain, and pressure, and stress, and worry doesn't wane.  And until you are in that situation, you can never really understand how it feels.

I don't expect people to "get it" and I am not overly angry at that teacher for his gruff and insensitive comments to L yesterday.  This is hard and exhausting for the people closest to L (so, yeah, try BEING L...) so I know outsiders are going to have a harder time understanding that, for us, time has stood still for now while we try to deal with day-to-day concerns while struggling to keep a positive, long term outlook.  I do get a little frustrated because ill-timed comments make OUR lives more difficult when it comes to keeping L's chin up, but... yeah.

I am, however, red-rage angry at one individual, who appears to have bookended his 3 years of lawsuits by completely checking out during L's two biggest challenges of her life.   And in 784 short days, maybe I will tell you, and him, all about that.

On we go.